Some Day' Takumi x Kamui fanfic
by The Rich Alder
Summary: When Kamui is hospitalized due to a stroke, Takumi doesn't know if he can keep their family together. After all, the woman he had fallen in love with is now no more than an empty shell... Rating may change.
1. The Accident

Disclaimer: I don't own _Fire Emblem_

… "Sir… Sir!"

Takumi snapped his eyes open as he looked up at the doctor in front of him. The man towered over him, intimidating Takumi a little.

"Sir, your wife is ready to see you."

"How is she?" Takumi sputtered, trying to keep the quell of anxiety down. The hospital walls seemed to be closing in on him, the pasty green making him feel sick. For a split second, he felt dizzy enough to collapse on the floor. However, he pushed it away and looked the doctor in the eye.

"I'm afraid that she isn't doing so well," the doctor replied, avoiding Takumi's gaze. "She will be in a comatose-like state for a while until proper rehabilitation."

Takumi swallowed hard and thought of what it would be like for the rest of his life. _We'll never go skydiving like you wanted. We'll never have a romantic dinner on our anniversary. You can't go to your job anymore. How are we going to take care of the kids?_ he asked himself. "I want to see her," he said resolutely, trying to force the fear down.

With a brief nod of compliance, the doctor led him to a room down the hall. Takumi knocked on the door slightly before walking in. Near the back of the cramped hospital room was a small bed with an even smaller figure sitting on it. In that moment, Takumi realized just how serious the change was over his wife. She no longer stood tall and proud. Her eyes didn't shine with that bright intelligence that he had always loved. She stooped over, her eyes dull and tepid. Takumi could almost see how her soul had left her. That person sitting on that bed didn't have a soul. The person sitting on that bed was an empty shell merely imitating a living, sentient being.

"K-Kamui…?" Takumi said quietly as he approached.

She looked up at him, her eyes having picked up some light. "Umi," she said, her eyes reflecting happiness. "Umi! Umi!"

Takumi sucked in a deep breath and sat down. _This is going to be hard._ "Kamui, you had a stroke. Do you remember?"

"Umi!" she said, her expression not changing.

Takumi sagged, his last flicker of hope extinguishing. He embraced his wife and kissed her cheek, struggling not to sob. "I love you, Kamui," he whispered. "And this isn't going to change anything. I'll find a way to support all of us. I can manage more than one job." He smiled. "The boys are impatient to see you. And I bet you want to see them too. I'll make sure to bring them tomorrow."

The corner of her mouth twitched. "Umi…" she said quietly. Even though it was just the tiniest gesture, Takumi could see that it was the beginnings of a smile. He patted her head and kissed her.

"Some day," he told her. Though he said nothing more, the look in her red eyes told him she agreed. _I'm waiting_ , she seemed to tell him. Smiling at her, he stood up and exited the room.

Takumi sighed as he set the groceries down, already hearing his two sons running all over the house.

"Gotcha!" Kanna cried as he blasted a super soaker at Kisaragi. His brother dodged to the side, causing the stream of water to shoot past and soak Takumi. Takumi glared at the two.

"Put that down!" he snarled. Kanna and Kisaragi dropped the gun and stared. Takumi stepped forward. "That's it. From this day forward, I don't want to see you running around the house and goofing off. I've had enough of your shenanigans." He paused as his eyes drifted away from them. "And besides…"

Kanna finally started to take notice of the fact that his father had brought the groceries home alone. "Where's Mommy?" he asked, a genuine concern in his voice. Kisaragi stood right next to him, his eyes shining.

Takumi sighed. "I'm afraid your mother won't be home for a while," he said gently, leading his sons into the living room.

"But you said this morning that she just needed someone to see her headache," Kanna squeaked in protest. Kisaragi remained silent, his normally expressive eyes downcast and dull.

"She's sick, Kanna," Takumi said gently, trying to soothe his son. "She needs to stay at the hospital for a while. For now, I'll be doing the chores."

"But it doesn't make sense!" Kanna cried, the tears spilling down his face. "Mommy just had a headache! It isn't fair. What if something bad happens to her?"

Takumi sighed and brought his youngest son close in a tight embrace. "She's going to be fine, Kanna. She'll be home eventually. For now, you can do your mother a big favor." He smiled at his son. "Be a good little boy and act like an adult. It would make your mother so happy," he whispered, nearly losing his composure.

Kanna sniffled and finally got up. "Can I watch some TV?"

Takumi smiled and patted his son on the head. "Sure. I'll go make dinner." Standing up abruptly, Takumi headed towards the kitchen, listening to his son switching on the TV. It only took him a few seconds, however, to realize that someone was following him. Once safely in the kitchen, he turned around to find Kisaragi behind him.

"What is it?" Takumi asked.

Kisaragi swallowed and looked his father in the eye. "Mother's not all right, is she?"

For a moment, Takumi merely stared at his son. Then he simply deflated. Throwing himself back onto a chair, he slumped over and put his head in his hands. "Your mother had a stroke this morning. And while she's not dead, I'm afraid she might not be the same ever again," he choked out. He reached his hand out and grasped his son's shirt, pulling him close. "Take care of your brother," Takumi rasped. "He's too young to understand this kind of pain." He swallowed. "Please…"

Kisaragi nodded, his eyes tearing up. But not allowing his father to see his weakness, he turned away and headed upstairs toward his room.

Takumi sighed and turned towards the groceries, wondering with dread over what he could possibly cook.

* * *

 **Takumi entered the door slowly** , edging Kisaragi and Kanna along. "Dear," he said softly, "we're here to visit."

Kamui didn't move, her eyes flickering over to the boys. Despite her immobility, her eyes reflected how glad she was. Kisaragi and Kanna walked up to her side, their demeanor subdued.

"Mother, I brought you your favorite food," Kisaragi said, setting down a small plate of rice balls.

Kanna looked at his mother. "Mommy, I was praised by the teacher during science for figuring out what the centipede was." He put his hand on the bedside. "I'm really proud of myself."

Kamui's hand twitched, as if wanting to touch Kanna's for a second, but nothing else happened. For a moment, Takumi had hoped something would happen. Like the movies he had seen, Kamui would miraculously get over the stroke and grab Kanna's hand. Everyone would hug and there would be tears.

But reality wasn't anything like the movies. It stung and refused to let go, biting deeper and deeper into those who were already suffering. Takumi swallowed roughly, biting his lip. _Someday,_ he thought to himself. _Someday, we'll be a normal family once again._ Stepping forward, he put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Come on, Kanna. We best leave your mother be for now."

"But-"

Kisaragi put his hand on his brother's shoulder, not smiling for once. "Come on, Kanna. Do what Father says." The dark look passed just as quickly as it appeared and Kisaragi smiled once more.

Leading his son's away, Takumi felt a certain unease running through his spine. Something about Kisaragi seemed off. Almost as if he had snapped and had shown his true self for a second. Takumi seemed to be the only one who had noticed though, as Kanna was jovially hanging all over his brother. Takumi swallowed as they exited the hospital. _Now it's Kisaragi… What next?_

Okay, it's been a little bit since I wrote some stuff. Originally, I was gonna make this the one-shot and make the Kamui x Joker fic the chapter fic, but this turned out with so much potential, that I decided to just do this first and work on the Kamui/Joker fic later. I thought the Kamui/Joker fic would be my main priority but it was harder than I thought to write. While I'm working on this, I'm trying to think about where to start it. I know how it's going to be in the middle, but I have yet to figure out where to start the beginning and introduce Kamui and Joker's problems.

I'm also having a hard time just writing like I used to. I've clearly been taking my time, but my writing hasn't been improving much anyway. Scholastic's coming up and I have still to figure out what I'm submitting. Plus, I've been skipping a few other writing competitions since I just can't write the way I used to. I know eventually I'm going to fall back into my usual pattern, but as for now, I'm just going to keep writing and wait. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed~

 **Edit:** I can't believe that I had the wrong chapter here posted the whole time. I can't believe it went unnoticed. It must've been confusing to those who've read it. Sorry for the blunder!


	2. The Love of a Father

Kisaragi sighed as he got up from the chair. Brushing past the crowd of campers, he leaned over the pond and splashed some water on his face. Still feeling the sun scorching the back of his neck, Kisaragi moved under the shade of the trees. Silently, he watched his father coach the others.

"So you want to just focus," Takumi said, gesturing with his hands. "If you don't focus on the target, you're never going to be a good archer." He sighed as Eponine missed another shot. "Okay, maybe you need a good example." He thought for a moment, before turning towards his son. "Kisaragi!" he called. "Why don't you come over here and show everyone how you shoot an arrow?"

Pushing himself to his feet, Kisaragi jogged over to where his father stood. "Sure, Father!" he shouted enthusiastically. Bending over to pick up one of the camp bows, Kisaragi notched an arrow and stood upright. Waiting for the campers to back away, he lined the bow in his line of sight. Taking aim at the target, he sighed. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he could hear his mother's voice.

 _"You're such a good archer, Kisaragi. Just like your father."_

For a moment, he could almost _feel_ the enamouring scent of her perfume surrounding him. Enveloping him. Freezing completely, Kisaragi forgot about trying to hit the target. _Mother, I… I…_ He gritted his teeth. _I…!_ Releasing the arrow, it flew in a spiraling arc. However, unlike the countless other times Kisaragi had ever fired an arrow, it missed the target entirely. The campers and Takumi gasped.

"Did you see that?!" Soleil whispered.

"He missed the target," Deere said, more to himself than anyone else.

Kisaragi glared and snatched another arrow. Quickly loading it into the bow, he fired and missed the target once more. Repeating until there were no arrows left, Kisaragi stood panting as he looked at the clearing. Every patch of grass around the target was littered with arrows, but not a single one had made its way onto the target. For a second, he was about to snap the bow out of anger, however Takumi saw what was about to transpire. Flashing out his hand, he grabbed Kisaragi and spun him around. His son was quick, but not quick enough to completely wipe the violent look off his face before Takumi saw it.

Kisaragi yanked his hand away, putting a smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Father," he said.

Takumi looked at his son with an incredulous look. For several moments, the two just stared at each other like they were about to attack. Then, Takumi realized that all the campers were watching them. He turned around, pretending to scout the trees. "Okay, Kisaragi, why don't you go up the the pavilion and get the medical staff to check that out?"

"Huh?" He looked down to discover that amidst his thinly-concealed rage, he had somehow managed to cut his hand on an arrow. Shielding his hand from the other campers his age, Kisaragi began to walk away towards the pavilion. "Oh, I should probably get this checked out," he called out. "Thanks for telling me, Father."

Takumi remained silent, his gaze grimly fixed on the figure of his son receding in the distance. With a quiet sigh, he turned back to the group. "Okay, it's time to go pick up the arrows. Now, who knows the safety procedures when retrieving them?"

Kisaragi swallowed as he looked over the gash on his hand. _How did I do that?_ he thought as the blood dripped onto the grass. Feeling afraid, he jogged a bit faster until he came to the pavilion. After the medical staff checked it out, he was relieved to hear that it was a lot less severe than he had thought. They merely cleaned the blood off and bandaged it. After bidding them goodbye, Kisaragi hadn't walked more than a dozen steps before running into his father.

"Kisaragi!" Takumi exclaimed. "I ran up here as soon as I finished with the group I had." He frowned. "How's your hand?"

Kisaragi smiled. "It's fine, Father. The medical staff said it was nothing that couldn't be fixed with some cleaning and bandaging."

Takumi smiled affectionately at his son. "That's reassuring to hear." He suddenly frowned. "But why were you missing the target?"

Kisaragi remained silent for a moment, contemplating whether to tell his father or not. Struggling whether to tell him about wanting to see his mother. But after a second or two, he decided that it was best to just keep quiet. "I dunno. I guess I just lost my focus."

Takumi raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more. Stretching his arms out, he grabbed his son by the arm and the two headed down to the pool. Watching campers and counselors alike swimming, Takumi decided it would be best to make his son be with his friends. "Why don't you go get changed?" he asked Kisaragi.

"But what about my bandages?" Kisaragi asked.

Takumi chuckled. "It'll be fine. Besides, if it stings, then you don't have to go swimming. Besides," he smiled, "I'm making you anyway."

Kisaragi pouted but obeyed his father. Watching his son jog away to get his swim clothes, Takumi decided to relax by the shaded area where all the other counselors were lounging. Approaching them, he could see that they had heard of what happened.

Orochi didn't even wait to casually approach the subject. "Hey, Takumi, what happened with your son?" she asked.

Everyone else rolled their eyes. Sometimes, her bluntness was very hard to deal with. Takumi sighed and looked upward. "I'm not really sure. I think it's just because he might be dealing with some family matters." He sat down on the grass with a sigh of relief. "Ah, it feels so good to finally sit down after teaching kids all day," he remarked, trying to change the subject.

At that point, everyone had gotten a fair amount of interest with Takumi's issue. "What's he dealing with?" Mozume asked shyly. "I mean, I don't want to be a bother or anything if you don't want to answer…"

Takumi brushed a lock of his hair behind his ear. "Some things are happening at home and I think he's just having a hard time dealing with it. After all, he's the oldest…" He grimaced. "You see, my wife, Kamui, had a stroke a week ago. It's been hard on the family, and I think a lot of it's on Kisaragi. After all, he's the older brother and he has to protect Kanna."

A chorus of condolences erupted at his words. Oboro moved a little closer and nudged his shoulder. "It'll be all right. She's doing well, right?"

Takumi bit his lip and looked down. "The doctors said she'd eventually be able to regain most if not all of her bodily functions. And she'd eventually relearn how to speak… But they can't figure out a time when that would happen. They said it could be a few months or it could be a few years."

More sympathetic noises. Hinata put his hand on Takumi's shoulder. "It's okay, man. When Kazahana died, Hisame was pretty torn up about it. But he never really let me see how he felt." He sighed. "Just make sure to always be willing to listen to what your son says. If I had listened more to Hisame instead of focusing on my own grief, we wouldn't have our issues like we do now."

Takumi swallowed, feeling even more unnerved by his friend's words. "Are you saying Kisaragi and I might drift apart?"

Hinata jumped back. "No, no! Of course not!" He looked away in embarrassment. "I'm just saying…that…now is just a good time to pay attention to him," he finished lamely.

Takumi sighed and stood up. "You're right. I should get him. We need to spend some time together."

"You should probably wait until after," Hinata said. "See, look." He pointed towards the pool. Takumi could see his son in the water with Foleo and Kanna.

"Marco!" Kisaragi called.

"Polo!" Kanna replied just as enthusiastically. Foleo didn't move from where he was sitting on the edge of the pool. Kisaragi dived at where he thought Kanna was, only to splash Foleo.

"Eek!" Foleo shouted.

Kisaragi opened his eyes to see his best friend quivering, his body soaked. "Sorry, Foleo," he said sheepishly.

"Oh, it's fine," Foleo said quietly.

"No, it's not," Kisaragi said, climbing out of the pool to sit next to Foleo. He took a lock of Foleo's hair in his hand. "Sheesh, it's soaked through. I'm so sorry, Foleo."

"No, no, it's fine," Foleo said quickly. He smiled shyly and looked down at the water. "Besides…" He flashed out his hand and splashed Kisaragi. "We're even," he chuckled. The two laughed together while Kanna swam around below.

Takumi sat back down with a smile. He looked at Leo. "Our sons get along so well."

Leo fixed him with a cocky smile. "Maybe it's because my son is nice enough to deal with yours."

Takumi scoffed and turned his head, feeling the sun against his face. "Whatever you want to say. All I'm going to say is that after today, I'm going to spend more time with my son." He smiled to himself, feeling as if a slight weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Some day… Some day they would find each other and their family would be whole.

* * *

Ugh, my muse just spun me around and made me start working on the Kamui/Joker fic as soon as I published this one. I'm so mad. But at least school's getting easier. Fencing's starting next Tuesday so I'm really hyped for that. And I'm finally dying my hair that metallic silver color I've always wanted. Hopefully, it'll look like Undertaker's from _Kuroshitsuji_ , but shorter.

I'm also annoyed by the lack of good Joker fanart. I've searched and searched, but I've only stumbled upon two or three good pieces. I mean, Takumi and Leo have a ton of really sexy fanart, but Joker's sadly left out. Thankfully, I remedied that by finding a really good Kamui/Joker doujinshi on… er… an adult site. I'm not going to go into detail about the doujin I read, but I'm happy to say that out of the few _If_ doujinshi, Kamui/Joker and Kamui/Takumi seems to be the most common. And Camilla has her own thing going on. She's got, like, three or four different doujinshi dedicated just to her. I didn't read them, so I don't know the pairing. But I'm willing to be it was just random people or Kamui. Camilla's just her own force to reckon with. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed~


	3. Breaking the Rules

"Sir, could you state your name?"

…

"Sir?"

…

" _Sir_!"

Takumi snapped to attention as he found the receptionist glaring at him. "May I please have your name?" she asked.

"Ah, yes," Takumi said quickly, remembering where he was. "Takumi's my name." He swallowed nervously as he looked around the quiet waiting room.

"Insurance?" the lady inquired, not bothering to look up from the paperwork she was filling out.

Sighing to himself, Takumi answered the question, his eyes roaming around the room. Resting on single mothers tiredly smoking cigarettes, he felt a pang of unease run through him. _Do we really need this?_ he thought to himself.

"Has there been any history of suicide in your family?" the receptionist asked, nibbling slightly on the red pen she was holding.

Takumi looked away shyly. "My brother," he admitted. "When he found out my step-sister was hanging out with some shady hooligans, he was already worried. But when he tried to get her to stop, she refused and…" He swallowed. "We found him on the pavement the next morning. He jumped out of a seventh-story window in the apartment building we lived in. My step-sister was the breadwinner of the family so we were all quite upset and disappointed when we found out who she was hanging out with in her spare time."

"Any suicidal or violent tendencies displayed by close relatives after the incident?" she flatlined, not caring at all about what he said.

Takumi sighed, Kisaragi floating to the top of his mind. "No," he replied. A hot pang of guilt spiked through him. _Am I ashamed of him? No… I'm just worried. That's all,_ Takumi said, reassuring himself.

"Household income?"

Takumi raised an eyebrow, annoyance written all over his face. _Is she even allowed to ask these probing questions?_ "About $6-700 a week," he sighed.

The receptionist made a disappointed sound, but said nothing more. Takumi gritted his teeth, feeling a surge of anger. "Go take a seat. Dr. Orochi will be with you soon."

Holding back a frustrated sigh, Takumi walked ahead and sat in a scruffy chair. After only a few minutes, he was surprised to see a younger-looking girl with pale, swirling pigtails walk in. He made eye contact with her, but she quickly jerked her gaze away. Not giving up, he walked over to her. "You're Leo's sister, aren't you? Isn't your name Elise?"

"Yes… What is it to you?"

"I just wanted to know why you're here," he persisted. "Leo's been telling me that he's worried about you. I'm his friend, so I wanted to know." He smiled and offered her his hand. "I'm Takumi, by the way."

Remaining still for a moment, she smiled and took it. Offering him a seat next to her, she sighed and leaned back. "I'm here because, like everyone here, I'm a single parent trying to raise a child."

"Didn't you marry Kamui's butler? Joker?"

She sighed and leaned back. "Yes. Unfortunately, he died in a car crash about a year ago. I'm trying to take care of Deere, but it's just too hard by myself." Despite herself, she could feel tears beginning to well up. "I think I might have to give him up for adoption."

Takumi put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to cry. I'm sure that Leo would be glad to take him in if it's too hard to support both of you. There's no way that we'd just let you give away your son."

Elise smiled starting to resemble that typical, cheerful girl he had known. "You're right," she said. "I can get through this." She sighed. "But for now, we both have appointments."

"Ah yes. With Dr. Orochi, right?"

"No." She shook her head. She gestured to the child services office on the left side of the room. "I came here about my son. They were pushing me to give him up. I came over here to sign over my rights as his guardian, but you convinced me that there's another way." She frowned as she looked down at her lap. "Unfortunately, I know they won't let me leave without a fight. I can see the receptionist has her eye on me." She gestured towards the lady Takumi had been talking to previously. Her eyes were discreetly fixed on them, although she was pretending to be enraptured by her paperwork.

"That bitch," Takumi muttered, feeling his previous annoyance flare up. He turned to face Elise. "Don't worry. I'm sure I can figure out a way to get you out of here."

"I hope you do," she whispered back urgently. "My appointment's in 15 minutes."

Takumi felt a small amount of nervous sweat drip down his back. "So I guess that means I have to think of something fast," he replied, his eyes darting around the room for an answer. Trying to look casual, he approached the receptionist. "Excuse me, but where is the bathroom?" he asked meekly.

"Down the hallway and to the right," she replied flatly, looking him right in the eye. Takumi swallowed but proceeded with what he was doing. Walking out into the hallway, he leaned against the wall, not knowing what to do. After about 30 seconds or so, the answer hit him suddenly as he saw the fire alarm on the wall. For a split second, his fingers twitched as if he wanted to pull it. _No, you can't do that,_ he told himself. _That's a class one misdemeanor no matter what my reason for doing it is._ He swallowed. _I can't afford the court fee. Not to mention Kisaragi and Kanna shouldn't be hearing that their dad got in trouble with the law while they're dealing with Kamui's stroke._ Nevertheless, he could feel time quickly running out as he stood there. Slowly, he felt his feet carry him towards the alarm. _You will not pull that switch, Takumi_ , he told himself. _You'll be in big trouble._ He felt himself grip the alarm. _Not if they don't see me._ Before he could assemble a single coherent thought, he felt himself pull the switch. Immediately, he heard a loud alarm blare. A few seconds later, he felt his clothes get soaked as the fire prevention system spewed water from the ceiling.

Glimpsing the door to the waiting room open, he dashed down the hall, turning the corner just before the secretary dashed into the hallway, followed by the patients. Rushing down the stairs, Takumi burst outside the building and kept running. By the time the rest of them had made it outside the building, he was already down the street to the light. Before any of them witnessed him, he turned the corner and kept jogging until he was several blocks away. Finally, he stopped and bent over, gripping his knees and gasping for breath. _Glad I didn't drive over here,_ he thought to himself. Straightening up as if nothing had happened, Takumi reached into his pocket and took out his phone. Scrolling through his contacts, he finally decided on Leo, seeing as he had news for him anyway. Pressing the "call" button, Takumi waited a few rings until Leo picked up.

"What the hell are you calling for, you stupid pineapple?!" an annoyed voice answered.

Takumi smiled to himself. _Still the same old Leo._ "Stop being all grumpy, tomato boy," he taunted back. "I just need a ride. Where the hell are you?"

The line was silent for a few seconds. "I'm with Foleo at the house."

"And Charlotte?"

"...She's shopping," he admitted. "Fine, I'll pick you up. Where are you?"

Takumi paused for a few moments, looking for the street signs. "I'm on the corner of Center and Fifth."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes." The line went dead. Sighing to himself, Takumi slumped back onto the corner of someone's lawn. After a few more seconds, he could hear the approaching sound of sirens. After waiting a few moments, he saw a firetruck roar past, its sirens screaming. _I hope he hurries up_ , he thought to himself. He sighed as he put his head in his hands. _Thinking like a criminal already, huh, Takumi._ For a few moments, he felt a tight insecurity constrict itself around his throat. _What the hell did I just do?_ he wondered to himself in despair. _I'm going to get arrested and my kids are going to be home alone. Who's going to take care of them then?_ He gritted his teeth. _All to help out a friend's sister._

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there thinking to himself when he heard Leo pull up with Foleo in the front seat. "Are you just going to stay there?" Leo asked with a cocky smile. He soon frowned, though, as he saw Takumi's face. "What happened to you?"

Takumi shut the back door, not looking up. "I…did some stuff," he admitted.

The car was silent for a few moments. "Foleo, I'm going to drop you off at Velour's house. I want you to stay there for a while."

"But-"

"No buts," Leo interrupted, his voice serious. "You're going to stay at Velour's house until we get this settled out."

Foleo frowned and looked down at his knees. "Yes, Father…" Making a few turns, they were already in the neighborhood. Surrounded by wealthy, affluent houses, Takumi couldn't see an end to the almost surreal place. Perhaps a long time ago, he would have felt some form of jealousy. He chuckled to himself softly.

"Maybe back in my younger days…"

"What did you say?" Leo asked, only taking his eyes of the road for a second.

"It's nothing," Takumi said softly, starting to feel better. He was slightly surprised over how easy it was to get lost in wistful thoughts after doing something that weighed so heavily on the mind.

About 30 seconds later, they pulled up to a swanky-looking white house with a generous yard. It was one of the cheaper houses in the neighborhood, but it was still nice enough to put even the best house in Takumi's neighborhood to shame.

Foleo opened the door. With one last look cast at his father, he hopped out and started walking towards the door. A few moments later, he was greeted by an enthusiastic Camilla hugging him tightly. He didn't seem to be overjoyed about it, but didn't act uncomfortable around the large breasts pushing against him.

"So what's your deal?" Leo asked as soon as they pulled away.

Takumi sighed, his whimsical mood gone. "I saw Elise at the counseling place I went to today."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Really? How's she doing? She's been so busy lately. And I also have a sneaking suspicion that she's been avoiding us."

Takumi looked away, unable to meet his friend's gaze in the rearview mirror. "Er, not good." He looked his friend in the eye. "Leo, she's going broke. After Joker died, she's been struggling to take care of Deere." He looked down once more. "I…told her that you could take Deere in until she found a stable job."

"Wait a minute. You can't just go telling her that Charlotte and I will just drop everything and take in Deere. I mean, of course we would, but that doesn't mean you have the right to-"

"I know how it feels to struggle to care for your children because you're short a spouse," Takumi interrupted bluntly, his eyes devoid of any compassion. "True, I may have overstepped my boundaries by telling her something like that without checking with you first. But I _understood_ her, Leo!" he protested. "Ever since Kamui…" He swallowed. "Ever since Kamui has been in the hospital, I've struggled to care for Kisaragi and Kanna. Kamui made the money in the family. I've struggled to make a couple hundred a week." He sighed and shrank down back into the seat. "Elise may be taking care of Deere by herself, but I've been taking care of Kisaragi _and_ Kanna. You only have one child. You don't understand how hard it is."

"How much did Kamui make before she landed in the hospital?" Leo asked, a slightly bitter tone giving rise to his voice.

"About $1,000 a week," Takumi replied. He narrowed his eyes.

Leo snorted, scowling at Takumi. "She would have been making triple that if you hadn't knocked her up."

Takumi glared at the man who he had considered his friend. "I loved Kamui and she loved me back."

"She was your step-sister. What you did was wrong in the eyes of the law."

"Both my father and her mother are dead," he replied, his eyes flashing. "There's nothing tying us together except for our love." He looked out the window. "Besides, I didn't grow up thinking she was my sister. I only met her a little while before Mother died."

"Kamui left us because you seduced her into joining you."

"Like you can talk!" he shot back. "I may be in love with my half-sister, but at least I didn't grow up with her secretly wanting to bang her!"

Leo quickly shut his mouth, his eyes icy. He smoothly pulled over to the sidewalk and unlocked the doors. "Get out," he said calmly.

"You can't just-"

"Get the fuck out of my car!" he shouted, his eyes blazing. "If you're going to say those horrible things, you might as well walk home!"

Realizing he had went too far, Takumi looked down and obligingly opened the door. Stepping out, he shut the door behind him and saw Leo speed away. Putting his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts, he slowly walked back to his house. Despite an increasing sense of guilt digging into him, Takumi shrugged it off and merely kept walking. He had gone a few blocks when he turned the corner and tripped over a blue recycling bin. As he hit the ground, he felt an overwhelming sense of defeat wash over him. Sitting on the sidewalk, he put his hands to his face and felt several tears fall. _What the hell am I doing?_ he wondered to himself as he sobbed. _I'm a grown man with kids crying on the sidewalk like a little bitch._ He gasped as he struggled to draw in another breath of the humid air. Despite his critical thoughts, he didn't even slow down for a moment. For 30 minutes, he remained there, hopelessly allowing the tears to run down his face and gasping in deep breaths. Trembling and quivering, he finally stopped when he could no longer feel any tears. Licking his lips, he felt parched. _I probably cried all the water out of my system_ , he thought to himself as he struggled to his feet.

Stumbling down the sidewalk, he barely registered his surroundings. Instead, he relied on that deep instinct inside him. The one that told him where he could find "home" no matter where he was. It was hard to describe. No matter where he was, he could feel almost a sort of tug in his gut whenever he was going the right way. Something somewhere telling him, "That's the way. Keep going."

Of course, it wasn't too long until he found himself staring down his house. Until that day, he hadn't really noticed how pathetic it looked. Unlike Leo's and Camilla's, it was only two floors. The roof was slanted slightly, a home for squirrels sitting near the corner. Poison ivy draped down the side of the walls, making the white paint appear sickly and eggshell. The porch was cracked, making the whole structure looked lopsided and sad.

"Che," Takumi sniffed as he walked up to the front door. Upon opening the door, he found his youngest son tackling him gleefully.

"Father!" he shouted. "You're home!"

Takumi put a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder and smiled. Looking past Kanna, he saw Kisaragi leaning against the kitchen door. Kisaragi scowled at him. "Where were you?"

Takumi sighed and emptied his pockets onto the island. "Sorry I'm late. There was an issue at the place I was going to. Leo drove me home but we had a fight so he kicked me out of the car and I had to walk home."

"Wow!" Kanna said, his eyes gleaming. "That's so cool! How far did you walk?"

Takumi chuckled softly to himself as he patted his son's head. "Not very far. Let's just leave it at that." He had just begun to settle down on the couch as he heard sirens growing louder and louder. At first, he paid no attention. After all, it was fairly common in their part of the neighborhood for police sirens to be blaring. But as it grew closer and closer with no signs of stopping, Takumi began to realize that perhaps they weren't just passing by. Feeling a nervous chill settle down his back, Takumi approached the front door and opened it. That nervous chill quickly turned to dread as he saw the police cars surrounding his house.

A cop stepped outside of one of the cars. He raised an amplifying device up to his mouth and spoke: "Sir, put your hands up in the air and exit the domain. We do not wish to make this violent."

Turning to his sons, Takumi beckoned them closer. He knelt down and looked at his youngest son face-to-face. "Go call Leo. I know we just had a fight, but he should understand that it's serious." Takumi looked up at Kisaragi. "And if he doesn't answer or doesn't want to help, call your aunt Hinoka." He hugged both of them. "I should be home soon," he whispered, hiding his tears.

Not looking at them, he turned around and walked outside, his hands in the air. Almost immediately, he was swarmed by policemen. Jostled in almost every direction, he felt himself being slammed against one of the cars. "You're under arrest," his assailant grunted. Takumi could feel the cold metal of handcuffs fasten around his wrists. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court."

"Yeah, right," he muttered. Abruptly, he felt himself being shoved into the back seat of one of the cars. Looking out the window, he could see his sons running out onto the yard, yelling in frantic voices he couldn't hear. He put his hand against the glass, spreading his palm out as far as he could. _It'll be all right_ , he mouthed silently at them as the car sped away. He looked up at the darkening night sky. "I'm sorry, Kamui," he murmured to himself. Slumping against the backseat, he felt shame flow through him. _Seriously, how many times a day do I have to feel this much guilt?_ he thought to himself bitterly. He sighed. He didn't know how long he was sitting there until the car slowed to a stop. He saw the cops get out of the front. A few moments later, rough hands grabbed him, forcing him out of the car. Being marched into the station, Takumi felt humiliation wash over him. Hanging his head, he kept his eyes fixed firmly on the sidewalk until it was replaced by hard flooring. _I hope I'm not in too much trouble,_ he thought to himself. But he rather doubted that.

* * *

Wow, this was a really long chapter. It took me so long because not only was I slacking off by working on the Joker/Kamui fic, but I'm also really prioritizing my schoolwork over writing at the moment. So basically, I just haven't been working on it as much as I normally do. But I hope my quality has improved a bit. I don't know how many chapters this is going to be. I don't really want long time skips right now, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. It might. But as for right now, I don't really have too many plans for this. I just want to see where it goes.

Also, Takumi was kinda lying when he was telling that receptionist about his brother. Ryouma really did kill himself, but that "shady gang" Takumi mentions is actually the Nohrian royal family. And they ended up being friends after. Basically, Ryouma jumped out of the seventh-story window after trying and failing to get Kamui to stop hanging around with Leo and company. But Kamui couldn't because she felt like she couldn't abandon her adoptive family, even though she chose to leave them to live with her birth family as soon as she turned 16. And her birth family (Mikoto and Sumeragi, etc.) was very poor while her adoptive family was rich. So Kamui got the best education so she was indeed the breadwinner of the family.

There's other stuff I could go over, like Takumi's borderline-incestuous relationship with Kamui. Even though that sort of thing is totally fine inside the game, I doubt they could get away with that sort of thing in this century without some law-evasion. Especially in America. But I'm not a law expert, so I don't know. Plus, they're not blood-related, so it's not that bad, in my opinion. And technically, they're not even legally tied together after Mikoto died. The only thing that makes it creepy is that Takumi refers to Mikoto as "Mother" even though she's only the biological mother of Kamui. But yeah, that's a lot of complicated stuff I might touch upon in a later chapter. Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed~


	4. Questioning

The detective sighed as he turned around. An officer sitting in a chair reclined to face him. "Do you think he's guilty?"

The detective sighed. "Of course. He confessed to the whole thing. The question is…why the hell did he do it? He seems earnest about regretting it. I couldn't squeeze a reason out of him no matter how long I pressed him. He just seems sorry and worried about his kids."

The officer sighed. "Well it's not our job to figure out what his reason for doing it was. We just have to give him his punishment."

"Seeing as he has had no previous convictions, community service and probation for six months should do the trick," the detective remarked, marking a few things on the paperwork.

"'Kay," the officer grunted as he stood up. "I'll go get him." A few minutes later, he reappeared, Takumi in tow.

The detective approached Takumi silently until they were face-to-face. "I need you to sign this paperwork," he grunted, sticking his hand out. "Since it's your first offence, you only need six months of community service and probation. However, if you violate that, you could be facing prison time."

Takumi didn't react to that as he signed the papers. He sighed. "I guess I can finally head home and check up on my sons."

"Was someone watching them?"

"I instructed them to call their aunts while I was gone." He frowned. "But that doesn't mean there weren't complications. Perhaps none of them picked up. Or maybe they were too busy to come over. I don't really know," he babbled on, starting to get nervous.

"Well, you're free to go," the detective remarked, putting away the paperwork. "Just make sure to follow your probation and to report for your community service."

"Will do," Takumi said quickly, rushing out the door. He stopped as he made it to the parking lot. "Wait, I don't have a ride!" he groaned as he saw the nearly empty parking lot.

* * *

" **You're lucky I happened to** pick up the phone after the things you said to me," Leo grumbled as the car rumbled into the driveway.

Takumi jumped out of the side door, racing into the house. Flinging open the door, he found his sons sitting on the couch, watching TV with Foleo.

"Dad!" Kanna squealed, jumping up from the couch.

"Are you all right, Mr. Takumi?" Foleo asked politely, the blond ringlets of his hair bouncing up and down.

"Yeah, Foleo, I'm fine." Takumi forced a smile. "It's only a misdemeanor. It's not like a felony or anything. I'm not getting any jail time."

"So you weren't punished?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"No, I wouldn't say that," Takumi replied, biting his lip. "Six months of community service and probation."

"That's pretty serious for a misdemeanor," Leo remarked.

"Well, it was a class one misdemeanor," Takumi replied. "That reminds me. Since I'll be on community service five days a week from 3:00 to 7:00, I'll need somebody to watch the kids for me…"

"Oh you _cannot_ expect me to watch over Deere _and_ your kids at the same time," Leo retorted.

"Deere's going to be living with us?" Foleo asked.

"It's complicated, Foleo," Leo replied edgily.

"Maybe I can make clothes for him!" Foleo exclaimed in excitement.

"Don't forget me!" Kisaragi exclaimed.

The two held hands. "I would never forget about you," Foleo said, looking Kisaragi in the eye.

Takumi and Leo exchanged nervous looks, deciding to discuss it later. "Anyway," Takumi said, clearing his throat loudly, "Leo and I have some things to discuss. "How about you three watch some more TV together?"

Leaving the three together on the couch, Takumi and Leo disappeared into the kitchen. "Are our sons gay?" Leo asked as soon as they were sure that they were outside of hearing range.

"I'd like to say no, but honestly, I'm not sure," Takumi replied.

"I mean, this isn't really the time to worry about that," Leo said calmly. "I mean, we have bigger things to worry about. Also, does it matter if they're gay? There's nothing wrong with being gay."

Tapping his fingers nervously on the island, Takumi looked away. "I mean, what is he gets beaten up or harassed? In this part of town, if you're gay you're a loser. And in this part of town, you can't really afford to be a loser. They'll pull a knife on you as soon as look at you here."

"I never saw anyone have any problems with being gay. One of my closest friends is gay," Leo remarked casually. "Although, I guess you could say he is bi. I mean, he had this major crush on one guy in college, but after that, he mainly liked women. But I think that the one time he liked a guy was the one time he was truly in love."

"But what about grandchildren?!" Takumi asked, twiddling his fingers nervously. "Will I even get any?"

"I mean, you have Kanna. And besides, have you ever heard of adoption?" Leo narrowed his eyes. "Takumi, are you homophobic?"

His face flushed in the light. "No, I'm not," he lied, turning his eyes away guiltily. "I'm just worried life'll be hard for him this way."

Leo sighed and put his hands on his hips. "I guess that's what happens when you grow up in this part of town." Turning around towards the fridge, Leo pulled out a tomato and began to eat it.

"Do you want a napkin for that or something?" Takumi asked lamely.

"No thanks," he mumbled as he finished it. He fixed Takumi with a teasing smile. "Should I eat a banana, or would that make you uncomfortable?"

Takumi blushed as he gritted his teeth. "I'm not homophobic!" he shouted.

Kisaragi walked into the kitchen. "What's all the yelling about?" he asked.

Takumi looked at his son for a moment. Just for a second, he saw his son in a different way. _He's…gay_ , he told himself. _He doesn't like women._ In that moment, Takumi realized he was faced with a decision. He could either accept his son for who he was and move on. Or he could disown him.

Takumi sighed. _I could never do that. He's my son, for the Gods' sakes. No matter what I think about the situation, it really doesn't revolve around me. It's his decision._ Takumi smiled. "Leo and I were just arguing about the dishes. Now that I think about it, how would hanging out with Foleo on the weekends sound?"

Kisaragi's eyes lit up. "Yes!" he shouted. He tackled his father with a hug. "You're the best, Father!" he cried. "I love you!"

Takumi smiled as Kisaragi ran back into the living room. "What the hell was I even thinking?" he asked himself. "It's Kisaragi's choice, not mine. I can't just disown him."

Leo put his arm around Takumi. "You're finally starting to see what I mean." He sighed as he collected Foleo. "When does your community service start?"

"Tomorrow," Takumi mumbled.

Leo sighed. "Well, I guess you'll drop off Kisaragi and Kanna then." He turned and walked out the front door, leaving the rest of the house eerily quiet.

Takumi sighed as he began to straighten up his clothes. "I want you two to go to your rooms and find something to do."

"Can't we just watch TV?" Kanna asked.

Takumi sighed. "Normally I'd let you, but tonight I just need some time to think." He sighed as the two scuttled upstairs. Slumping up near a table, he put his head in his hands and groaned. "What the hell am I doing with my life?" he asked himself. He simply didn't know.

* * *

Okay, to be fair, I bet y'all are all spitting fire at me. "All this waiting for a filler chapter?!" Yeah, I know. It's just that my writing's been slowing down. I don't know why, but everything's grinding to a stop. However, my social life seems to be picking up, so maybe that's the cause. I finally have my first serious boyfriend and just a lot of good stuff's been happening lately. But I also feel sad and like I'm suffocating every single second of the day where I find myself unable to write. I don't know what's wrong with me. So I might end up wrapping this up quicker than expected, so maybe the ending won't be as great as I'd hoped.

After I wrap this up, I don't know what next. I'm still in the middle of working on that Kamui x Joker fic, so I might not be gone for a long time. But this is why I was hesitant to write chapter stories. I was worried I'd lose interest halfway in the middle of it. Plus, I just don't know what I'm going to submit for all the writing competitions happening right now. I feel like it's my job and everyone expects me to keep winning awards. I feel like I'm suffocating from the fact that I can't write. It doesn't sound the same written on the page anymore. I look at it logically and clearly see that I'm getting better, but it just doesn't feel right. Besides, it's all about the views now. I'll pour my heart and soul out into certain fics and they'll only get about 100-200 views. Whereas for some fic I pound out on a request or just write for filler, it gets thousands of views, gushing reviews, tons of follows/favs, all that stuff. I finally understand how VocaApple felt when she left. It really sucks putting all your effort into one thing, and having it completely ignored in favor of some half-assed thing you did on the side.

I don't know if I'm going to retire after this or not. I've already quit being a beta reader. That alone was a big enough pain in my ass. Now, writing fanfiction isn't a chore. At least, most of the time it isn't. But when I'm struggling to write a story about something that inspired me months ago, it kind of does turn into a chore. I just feel disappointed in myself, mainly. Disappointed that it's all about the views. Every time I look at a fic I loved so much, and see the tiny view count, I'll feel a bitter disappointment run through me. I want to feel pride in the fact that I wrote and finished these fics. But I just can't anymore. Ever since I hit those thousands of views, it hasn't stopped-this lust for recognition. I don't really know anymore. I'm probably just going to wrap this up in a few chapters. And yeah.

Oh, I forgot to mention Takumi and Kisaragi's conflict in this chapter. The main reason why Takumi is kinda homophobic is literally what he said. In the really horrible neighborhood he grew up in, you would be straight up stabbed for being gay. So while Takumi didn't have much against it personally, he mainly was against it because he was worried for Kisaragi's safety. Although to be honest, I think Takumi's just a little bit homophobic. Probably because he's in denial about Leo, but nevermind that. I want Kisaragi's sexuality to tie a bit more to the storyline, but now that I realized I'm losing interest, I might not have time to tie it in more.

Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed~


	5. And Then, That's Why, It's Not Fair

The door swung shut with a loud shriek as Takumi pushed the wheelchair inside. "Kids, Mother's home!" he called.

Kisaragi raced around the corner, quickly followed by Kanna. Takumi made sure to calm them down before they made it to Kamui.

"Mother, you're home!" Kanna shouted.

Kisaragi put his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "Shh, Kanna. You know Mother has been through a lot. Let's be quiet."

Falling silent, Kanna gently hugged his mother. She quietly and jerkily wrapped her arms around his back. She gasped for words, but nothing left her mouth.

Takumi cleverly hid his tears from his children. Stepping forward, he gently ushered his wife up the stairs. Setting her down on the bed in the guest room, he remained beside her. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to come back home," he said tenderly as he moved a few strands of her hair out of her eyes.

Kamui smiled. Though speaking was still a struggle for her, she tried to utter a few words. Although she failed in that regard, she leaned against his chest and sighed. For what seemed the longest time, the two remained like that. Takumi held her close, his face pressed up against her shoulder. Suddenly, he realized that she no longer smelled of roses and fresh candles. Instead, that pleasant smell was replaced by the faint but distinct odor of hospital and sickness.

He drew in a sharp breath as that realization hit him. All this time, he had always told himself it would be fine when he had thought she would never be the same. He had always told himself he was being silly. That it wouldn't actually happen. But now that thought was suddenly very real. And very terrifying. Maybe Kamui really never would be the same.

Gripping her tightly without realizing it, Takumi felt fear spike through him as tears fell down his face. "Kamui," he murmured as he held her close. He felt her reach out her right hand and stroke his cheek lightly. She definitely seemed more in control of her body than her voice. Suddenly, he remembered when he first admitted he loved her.

* * *

 _Kamui sighed as she placed her bags on the table. "Can you not put that mug on the table? You need to put a coaster under it."_

 _Takumi jumped upon hearing her words. Hastily grabbing a flat object Kamui called a coaster, he slid it under the mug and looked at his lap quietly. Kamui walked past him, her high heels clicking on the tile floor. Sitting in the chair across from him, she brushed her hair back and sighed. "Sorry if I upset you. Work was stressful today." She crossed her legs coyly and looked down at him with an intense gaze. "So, what are you here for, Takumi?"_

 _"I, um," Takumi stuttered, his gaze flickering over every which way, "came because I wanted to spend some quality time together," he finished, lying through his teeth. To be honest, he came to admit his feeling for Kamui. However, intense feelings of fear kept him from speaking what was truly on his mind. After all, him and Kamui… It wasn't right._

 _Kamui smiled as she got up. "How about we go to the balcony?"_

 _Takumi smiled as she opened the sliding glass door. Walking out and sitting next to her, the two looked at the blue sky above. "How do you like the view?" Kamui asked._

 _"Definitely better than back at home," Takumi replied, intending for some light humor._

 _Kamui frowned, however. "Oh… I hope you don't think I was bragging or anything."_

 _"N-no, no!" Takumi shouted a little too loudly for comfort, his eyes wide with panic. "I'm not offended in the least! Nope, not at all."_

 _"Hmph," Kamui said softly as she petted his head. "It's funny. To everyone else, you're the quiet and cool Takumi. But around me, you're really shy. And you tend to panic a bit sometimes."_

 _Takumi remained quiet, his eyes fixed firmly on his lap. "To be honest, Kamui, there's a reason why I act like this." Suddenly feeling something strange course through him, he grasped Kamui's hand and looked her in the eye. "To be honest, Kamui, I act this way-"_

 _That's why._

 _That's why._

 _That's why…!_

" _-because I love you," he admitted._

 _For a moment, she just seemed shocked. "Why, Takumi… I…" She shut her mouth as she looked out in the distance contemplatively. "Honestly, there's no words to what I'm feeling. It's a dirty, perverse thing to be attracted to your sister, even if there is no blood relation between us."_

 _Takumi looked away and bit his lip._ She's gonna think I'm some kind of freak _, he thought to himself._

 _"However, I'm also feeling some kind of…almost warmth at hearing your words," she finished. She looked him in the eye. "Takumi, there are a lot of things in this world that scare me. And loving you is definitely at the top of that list."_

 _For a moment, he didn't know what to feel. Was Kamui's love worth the despair she felt over it? Would that make him selfish if he was happy about her loving him back?_

 _And then._

 _And then._

 _And then…!_

 _Kamui smiled and hugged him. "Since that really scares me, you'll protect me, right?"_

 _Takumi nodded blankly. "Keep on loving me for a while, 'kay?"_

* * *

"That's why… That's why… I love you, Kamui," Takumi sobbed. "I was supposed to protect you. And I failed."

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

Kamui stirred slightly as she pulled away. "All…right," she murmured softly. "Umi all…right."

Nothing was fair anymore. Him, her, no one! In this unfair, cruel world, there were only a few that escaped true punishment. Dyed in red, everyone wanted blue. Dyed in blue, everyone wanted red. And it was all stupid and pointless. All of it, all of it, all of it! Nothing mattered anymore in this unfair world. Nothing except him and Kamui.

Finally, Takumi lifted his head to see that Kamui had fallen asleep. Quietly and tenderly, he laid her head back and covered her up. After planting a kiss on her forehead, he stood at the doorway. For a moment, he worried about the possibility of her having a muscle spasm and injuring herself. And instead of pushing it away, he accepted it. _And that's why…it's unfair,_ he thought to himself as he walked downstairs. _For the rest of my life, I'll be suffering with worry over Kamui._ He smiled. _But that's what I signed up for. I promised to protect Kamui from what she's afraid of._

Sighing to himself, he sat in between Kanna and Kisaragi to watch TV. _It's gonna be a hard day tomorrow,_ he thought to himself.

* * *

Ah, I really took a while to finish this. To be honest, I was contemplating just leaving fanfiction. I had the worst Christmas. I had the worst sinus infection the doctor's seen all week and my boyfriend dumped me. On top of that, I couldn't stop eating and crying all week after that. I gained four pounds last week. And yeah, I know it's no family tragedy, but it really hit me hard. Plus, fanfiction hasn't been working out for me lately. I've been stressing about views and favorites and stuff. The usual. I just am having the hardest time getting anything done. I don't even know if I can make it to the end of this story, to be honest. I hope to, but I don't know how long it will take. And after that, I'll probably be taking a break from fanfiction. I don't know if it'll be a permanent one or not. Do you think I should stay? Ah, what am I saying? Seriously, it's not like anyone gives a damn anymore. I feel like some kind of washout. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed, though I doubt it.


	6. What a Strange Thing

Kisaragi sighed as the dining hall screamed with noise. Picking up his fork, he sawed at the disgusting piece of chicken on his plate. Right next to him, Soleil and Eponine were arguing.

"I'm telling you, boys' love is the best! Why are you so hung up on girls?" Eponine asked.

Soleil smiled smugly. "You don't understand! Soft skin, curvy hips, plump lips. Girls are the best! I don't understand how you can be satisfied."

"We don't need to fight," Hisame interjected, trying in vain to stop the quarreling girls.

However, neither of them stopped. Back and forth, they shot retorts back at each other. Kisaragi groaned and stabbed the chicken with his fork one last time. "Can you two stop arguing?" he growled.

Everyone at the table fell silent. "Sheesh, what's up with you?" Soleil asked.

"It's nothing," Kisaragi deflected. He picked up his tray and stood up. "I'm going to go put my lunch away," he said quietly as his feet carried him away from there. That table where no one understood.

Upon giving away his lunch to the lady, he found his feet carrying him somewhere else. Exiting the dining hall, his feet turned left and carried him up the stairs. Higher and higher, his eyes remained unfocused as he kept going. Eventually, he felt something get in his way. A door. Shoving it open, he stumbled outside to feel a warm gust of air blow his hair back.

For a few moments, he stood there, in the gateway between ignorance and enlightenment. Then, stepping forward, he walked until he stood at the edge of the roof. Looking down at the green grass below and the rolling hills, he realized that everyone was inside the dining hall. No one would see him up here.

On the wind was the faint scent of roses and fresh candles. It reminded him of something, but he couldn't quite recall it. But in that moment, the quiet boy with a gift for archery and a positive mind had a few quirky thoughts.

1\. He remembered his mother smiling the day before her accident.

2\. He could see a man. He did not know this man. One eye was blank and accepting death, the other was lost in a dreamscape.

3\. A tinfoil palette was in front of him. Mixed with a ton of colors, it held no particular one. It had no distinction, it was so corrupted.

4\. In front of his gaze was a beautiful rose. Its thorns glittered in the sunlight and it looked ethereal. But suddenly, the light glittering off it was red like blood. And that flower wilted…

Kisaragi leaned forward until his head was hanging over the edge. _Why? Why? Why? Why?!_ he thought to himself. Why, indeed. Why? The world was a very ugly place. It's filled with pain and suffering. And suddenly, that young boy didn't feel very much like living in such an ugly world.

Shuffling his feet forward, he found himself sliding down the tile. Gaining momentum, he flew off the side and went hurdling toward the ground. However, seconds before hitting the ground, another thought struck him:

 _ **Maybe the world can be both ugly and beautiful.**_

And with that single idea - with its simple idealism - opened the boy's eyes. And right before he struck the ground and his body crumpled like a sack of bricks, he opened his mouth in a defiant gesture to shout out. And although the sound never got a chance to leave his mouth, he remained on the ground, content with the gesture. And as the world faded away to a dizzying black, he remembered one other thing he learned in school.

Black absorbs all colors and yet is still an absence of all colors.

 _What a strange thing that is_ , he thought to himself as his consciousness faded away.

* * *

Takumi was sitting in his chair, eating his lunch with the rest of the counsellors when he heard a commotion on the other side of the dining hall. Many of the campers were chattering nervously and some were yelling or screaming as they looked out the window. Pushing himself up from the table, he walked outside to turn the corner. Of the many things he had expected to see, what was there certainly shocked him far more than he ever had imagined.

 **A Summary of What Went Through Takumi's Mind**

 **Nothing.**

After all, seeing your son prone on the ground, blood dripping from a gash on his face, your first thought would be disbelief. That isn't your son, right? It couldn't be.

But as he approached the figure lying on the ground, it became clearer and clearer. There was no denying that the teen lying brokenly on the ground was his own flesh and blood. And that realization was simply devastating.

Takumi collapsed to his knees and hugged the broken body of his son, tears spilling down his face. There was nothing to say. At this point, what words could possibly console him? He didn't need anything. He just needed to sob. In his stomach, there was a giant black hole that churned with grief. It burned his throat and left it raw as the salty tears poured down his face and snot dribbled out of his nose. Yes, it was an ugly, ugly scene. Because lying there on those grassy hills were two broken people. A physically broken boy and a mentally broken father. And when Takumi finally looked up at the sky, it no longer seemed blue.

It seemed cold.

* * *

I know this is kinda short, but it seemed like the best place to leave the chapter off. I have other interesting things in store for the next chapter and I thought it would lose its momentum if I left it in the same chapter. I don't really have a lot to say. Writing's picking up a bit, but I still don't know where I'll go. It's kind of branching in different paths for me. I'm happy for the support I got and I'm trying to finish this up.

I'm also really excited for the character development in the next chapter. And I hope I conveyed the rather… I don't know… _Ditzy_ feeling of the chapter. Like, kinda whimsical but dark at the same time. And with maybe a bit of detachment at the end. I don't know if I did it right, but I hope I did. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed~


	7. Afraid

Kanna slowly swung his feet back and forth as we waited in the chair. The waiting room was tense. Takumi ground his teeth anxiously, waiting to hear the news. Both his aunts were there, too. And his cousin Matoi and his cousin Syalla. However, they didn't do much to comfort him. No matter what he tried to do, one word kept echoing through his mind.

 **Afraid.**

No matter how hard he tried to hide it from himself, it was undeniable. Kanna was afraid. In fact, he was very afraid. Because he had some questions and he didn't know who they were for. He wasn't religious. It wasn't like he had someone to worship or to seek guidance from. No, he just went through his life praying to no one and being thankful for everything but only to himself.

So when he had questions for someone to answer but no one to ask, of course he was afraid. _Who_ was going to tell him the fate of his brother? _Who_ was going to tell him what he needed to do to help his father? _Who_ was going to tell him why he deserved to have his mother and brother so cruelly snatched away from him?

But there was no one to ask. So at that moment, Kanna just let himself swing his feet and remained seated in the chair. Because he was powerless to do anything. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Eventually, a doctor walked into the waiting room and called out for Takumi. As Kanna followed, he threw a glance back to the other sad and scared-looking families in the waiting room. _I'll have good news when we come back_ , he thought to himself as they turned the corner. Even as the hallways seemed to turn an even darker shade of gray as they walked on, Kanna refused to let go of the stubborn feeling of positivity clinging to him. And after several minutes, he was ushered into a room alongside his father. At the far side was Kisaragi, his body prone.

Kanna rushed over to his brother's side, his mind racing. "Kisaragi!" he shouted and he jumped up and down. "Kisaragi, wake up!"

Takumi shushed his son, but quickly broke off as the figure in the bed stirred. Slowly, Kisaragi sat up and rubbed his head. "D-Dad…? Is that you?"

Before he knew it, Takumi rushed forward and embraced his son tightly. "What the hell happened?" he demanded hoarsely as tears rushed down his face.

Kanna saw his brother stare blankly into space. Even though Kisaragi was looking right at him, his brown eyes were unfocused. A chill surged through Kanna.

"I was…" Kisaragi trailed off. "I…" He struggled to swallow as he recalled what had happened earlier. He felt tears well as they spilled over the confines of his eyelids. "I don't know what I was thinking," he answered. "But I know now that it isn't worth it." He exhaled softly and looked at Kanna. "Sorry, little brother," he whispered softly.

Kanna bit his lip and stared at Kisaragi. "Welcome back."

The two stared at each other for a few moments before Takumi got up. "I'll go ask the doctor to fill me in," he said as he exited the room. Kanna walked over and sat on the side of Kisaragi's bed.

"What happened?" he asked Kisaragi.

"I just…thought about stuff," he answered, thinking carefully. He didn't want to upset his brother. "And after thinking for a while, I decided to take matters into my own hands."

Kanna remained quiet, his grey eyes fixed on the bone-white sheets they were on. Silently, he tried to wrap his head around Kisaragi's words. What did he mean by such a thing? For some reason, he was reminded of some man he saw on the news once a few years ago. Something about him jumping off something. But before Kanna could pay much attention, Takumi had hurried over and shut the TV off. "We don't need to hear anything about that," he recalled his father saying.

Kisaragi hugged his brother gently. "Kanna," he said softly, "I'm sorry."

Kanna knitted his eyebrows, his gaze confused. "What do you mean? Kisaragi, you're not making any sense."

Kisaragi chuckled softly despite himself. "I don't think I've been making much sense to you lately, have I? Well, that's no matter. All you have to know is that you won't have to worry about me anymore. I'm smart enough to know not to get myself in these stupid accidents anymore."

Kanna bit his lip as tears welled. "Stop making me mad, Kisaragi!"

Kisaragi froze and looked at his brother in shock. "What…?"

Kanna got to his feet and glared at his brother. "You think you're _so_ smart, the way you're acting! You keep smiling in this arrogant, smart way that all the adults give me!" He broke off as he started sobbing. "You keep saying everything's going to be all right, but it's not! This isn't you! Stop giving me that smile and start acting like yourself!" He sniffled. "Because… Because… You're my brother… I miss when you used to smile with me when we played _shogi_. I miss the way you laugh whenever I got upset when I lost. And I miss the way you always smiled. You used to show all your teeth. Now you're just giving me that sad look…" He drew in a large breath. "Stop making me mad," he sobbed.

As he finally quieted down, he heard a small chuckle. Quickly, the chuckle turned into a laugh. Kisaragi's shoulders were bent as he hunched over. Tears seeped out of his eyes as he bellowed loudly. Slowly, he pushed himself out of the bed and walked over to Kanna. "You always know how to make me laugh," he said mirthfully.

Kanna tackled him with a hug. "Don't scare me like that!" he squealed.

Takumi suddenly walked into the room. "What's going on?" he asked. The doctor behind him ushered Kisaragi back to his bed.

Kanna smiled. "We were just getting along like brothers should."

Takumi smiled and knelt down. He grasped Kanna's hands. "Kisaragi's going to be fine," he said. "Since I have to go wrap up some stuff with the doctors, I want you to wait in the waiting room."

Kanna grinned to himself and flashed a secretive look at Kisaragi as a nurse escorted him out. After walking back for a few minutes, he found himself in the waiting room again. He sat down in the first chair he saw and smiled to himself. After a moment, he heard someone scoot over next to him.

"What's your deal? Why are you so happy?" a boy with brown hair and green eyes asked him.

"My brother's going to be just fine," Kanna said, partly to himself.

"What happened to him?" the boy inquired.

Kanna frowned. "I'm not sure. I think he fell off the roof." He turned his head to look at the boy sitting next to him. "Why are you here?"

The boy crossed his legs and leaned back against the chair he was sitting in. "My uncle. He was hit by a car."

"That sounds awful!" Kanna gasped. "How's he doing?"

"I'm not sure," the boy answered. His bright green eyes suddenly seemed dull and jaded. "They won't let me see him."

Kanna noticed the boy's clothes. They were slightly dirty and had holes in a few places. "Are you from the poor part of town?" he asked.

The boy remained silent, though his cheeks picked up a subtle shade of red. "Yeah," he admitted. "I'm not sure if we can afford the hospital bill."

"I'm not sure, either," Kanna replied. "To be honest, I haven't thought about the hospital bill until now." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Now I'm worrying." He quickly jerked his head to the side as Takumi walked back into the waiting room. "Uh, gotta go," he said quickly as he hurried to his feet. "What's your name?" he asked.

"It's Rontao," he replied as Kanna hurried off. "What's yours?" he asked.

"Kanna!" he shouted as he caught up with Takumi. Takumi smiled to himself and ruffled his son's hair.

"Did you make a new friend?" he asked.

Kanna smiled broadly. "Yep. His name's Rontao. He seems my age."

Takumi put his hand on Kanna's shoulder. "Come on. Kisaragi's going to be released later today. As for right now, I have to go do my community service. I'm gonna drop you off at home for a few hours until I come home."

Kanna hummed softly to himself as they left the hospital. And for the first time in a while, he knew everything was finally starting to return to normal.

* * *

Okay, this took me a really long time to finish. I've been nonstop busy since I released the last chapter and I have barely had any time for writing at all. And this fic kinda seems like a soap opera. But from here on, there shouldn't be any more sudden drama. Things should calm down and I'll try and wrap up a good ending early on. On the last chapter, when it's released, I'll make a little announcement about where my fanfiction account will be going in the future. And for those who don't finish this fic, I'll make sure to put it on my profile as well. I don't want to talk about it now, but I'll elaborate in detail afterwards. Hope y'all enjoyed~


	8. True End

Takumi sighed as he pushed the door open. "What am I going to do with that boy?" he whined to Kamui as he helped her into the bedroom. "All day and all night, the only thing I've seen him do is sit at that desk and pine over that letter he's writing." He paused as he lowered Kamui onto the bed. "Who do you think it's for?" he wondered out loud.

"Hmm…dunno," she answered finally. She smiled. "I'm…sure Kisaragi…knows who he wants to write to," she sucked in a jerky breath, "in his heart," she finished.

Takumi chuckled to himself as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Guess so," he replied mirthfully. "I wonder if Kanna will act the same when he's older." Upon not hearing an answer for a few moments, he looked back at Kamui to find her asleep on the bed. He ruffled her hair as she opened her mouth in a silent snore. "Honestly, stop being so cute," he said softly as he settled down next to her.

* * *

"There," Kisaragi remarked softly as he shoved the letter in an envelope. He marked it with a heart on the front and signed his name in cursive on the front. He smiled to himself as he set it down on the table. _Now what?_ he wondered. _Perhaps I could slip it in his locker?_ He dropped the letter in his bag and shut it so no one would see it. Sitting on the couch quickly, Kisaragi flipped through channels.

Takumi put his arm around his son. "Kisaragi," he said cheerfully, "I want you to go get your stuff packed for school."

"Can't I do it later?" He grumbled.  
"No. Do it now." Takumi smiled to himself wistfully as his son scurried off to the kitchen. Sighing to himself, Takumi grasped the remote and turned the volume up.

* * *

 **"There we go,"** Kisaragi muttered as he positioned the letter right above the locker slits. His heart thudded in his chest. In fact, he wondered if anyone could hear his heartbeat, as the hallway was dead silent besides him. _Will Foleo like it?_ he wondered to himself as he started to push the letter forward. _What if Leo finds it?_ The thought struck him so suddenly, he dropped the letter on the floor. As he struggled to pick it up, he heard footsteps approaching.

"Yo," Takumi said cheerfully as he approached his son. "What are you doing out of class?"

"D-D-D-Dad?!" Kisaragi sputtered, scrambling to grab the letter. "What are you doing here?!"

"You forgot your lunch," Takumi said with a smile as he handed Kisaragi a brown paper bag.

"You know you would've just left it at the front desk," Kisaragi replied casually.

"But I wanted to tell you something. I need you to head over to the hospital after school. The money for the bus is in your lunch bag. Your mother wants to go shopping and she needs someone to push her wheelchair. She'll be out of physical therapy at 4:30." Takumi stopped as his eyes drifted towards Kisaragi's hands. "What's that?" He asked, gesturing towards the letter.

"Uh, it's a letter," Kisaragi said quickly.

"But who's it from? And what's it about?"

"Er, it's from," Kisaragi glanced around and caught a glimpse of Ophelia's locker slightly down the hallway from his. "It's from a girl," he said quickly, averting his eyes from his father's.

"Ooh," Takumi said. He winked. "I'll just leave you to it then." He walked away briskly, leaving Kisaragi by Foleo's locker. Kisaragi glanced at Foleo's locker, unsure of what to do. He already knew Foleo didn't like women. He had confessed it to Kisaragi over the summer. However, Kisaragi still wasn't sure if Foleo liked him that way.

He paused over the locker for a moment, before sliding the card in the slits and walking away quickly. He put his hands in his pockets nervously as he went back to class. The teacher pushed up her glasses upon seeing him walk into the room. "You took quite a long time going to the bathroom, Kisaragi."

Trying to tread carefully, Kisaragi sat down at his desk and looked down. "I ran into my father in the hallway. He brought me my lunch since I forgot it."

"Look at Kisaragi needing his daddy to come save him!" Lutz shouted from the back. The whole class cracked up. Immediately after hearing the words, Kisaragi looked down in shame, his ears burning.

Foleo leaned over. "There's nothing wrong with your dad helping you out. In fact, you're braver than a lot of people in this classroom to admit that."

Kisaragi smiled, still keeping his gaze fixated on the desk. "Thanks, Foleo," he said softly. Foleo laughed and the teacher continued the class for the last 15 minutes.

"What do we have next?" Foleo inquired.

Kisaragi flipped through his schedule. "History." He snuck a look over at Foleo. Kisaragi's breath caught in his throat. _If things keep going on like this, surely, surely…_

Foleo suddenly bumped into Kisaragi. "Ah, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Kisaragi muttered, lost in thought. He noticed Foleo approaching his locker. "Uh, I have to go downstairs," he announced quickly. "I left my bag downstairs."

"But your bag's right here!" Foleo called out, though his words fell on deaf ears. Kisaragi had already turned the corner and disappeared downstairs. Foleo shrugged to himself before opening his locker. As the metal door swung open, a tiny note fluttered down to the floor. Foleo bent over and plucked the paper off the ground. "Kisaragi," was written in large, scrawling letters. He opened the letter and read along the lines, his eyes growing with each word. "Kisaragi…" he said softly, folding the paper up. His eyes drifted towards the floor.

* * *

Kisaragi's breath thudded in his chest as he bent over. Over the summer, the stairs must've gotten taller at school. Or at least that's what it seemed to him as he panted for breath. _What did Foleo think?_ He wondered to himself as he finally straightened up. He ran a hand through his scruffy, white hair. _Can't really be helped,_ he thought to himself. _I have next period with him too._ He pushed his bag to the side as he strode past. As he jogged up the stairs, Kisaragi tripped on his shoelace. In a second, the stairs rushed up to meet his face eagerly as he fell forward. A strangled cry exited his mouth as he tumbled forward. A sudden, feminine-sounding voice reached his ears.

"Huh? What's going on?" Kisaragi felt himself slam into someone on the stairwell. "Ouch!" Foleo cried out as the two hit the bottom of the stairwell.

"F-Foleo!" Kisaragi exclaimed, looking at his best friend. "I'm sorry for that! I must've tripped at the top of the stairs."

"Oh, it's fine," Foleo said timidly. His voice faded away as the two looked at each other for a few moments. "Um, Kisaragi, I…"

"I mean, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Kisaragi broke in hurriedly.

"No, I think _you're_ the one who doesn't really want to talk about it," Foleo chuckled. He pushed a lock of curly hair behind his shoulder. "Kisaragi, is that letter really what you want?"

"Um, I…" His face turned a guilty red, thinking of what his father would say. "It is," he admitted. "I do want it, Foleo. I…I like you. I have for a long time. But it's just that things have been so complicated recently. My dad doesn't approve, and my mom's recovering so I don't want to put stress on her. I just… I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

The blond-haired boy sighed. "You're always doing this. You're torn between what's right for others and what's right for you. I know being selfless for others is the right thing to do, Kisaragi," he looked the boy in the eye, "but you need to start indulging yourself more. Frankly, you shouldn't give a damn what your father thinks about your preferences." He giggled slightly, as he had never said something so vulgar before. "And I know Kamui and she would definitely approve. It may stress Takumi out, but Kamui will be there to calm him down." Foleo smiled and grasped Kisaragi's hand. "You need to follow your heart. Stop telling yourself not to do what's best for you because someone else wouldn't like it."

"I…" He swallowed. "Oh, Foleo. I love you." He leaned closer to the blond. "I don't want to ever stop," he murmured.

Foleo smiled. "Now that that's over with, do you wanna get coffee after school?"

Kisaragi thought a moment about his father, but then pushed that notion away. "Sure!" he said happily.

Fin

* * *

Hey, everyone! I'm not dead, in case you were wondering. Just a lot of writer's block and homework. It's the last month of school and I haven't had any free time lately. Hell, I'm supposed to be working on my essay in class right as I type this. But I just wanted to say, thanks for everything. It's been two or three years since I first started. Through the ups and downs, quite a few of you have been with me, writing reviews, favoriting, following, etc. As I wrap up this last chapter (sorry it's not more action-based or whimsical or anything), I just want to say I've figured out where I'm going.

I'm retiring.

It's been a very long ride, and I'll be going to high school next year. I don't have time for fanfiction anymore, and I have other writing I need to do for Scholastic and stuff. Nevertheless, maybe one day I'll come back, maybe not. I can't really say for sure. Hopefully I'll write a one-shot or two over the summer. I want to think this isn't the end. But maybe it is. I'm dragging along here, and at this rate, trying to write fanfiction is like beating a dead horse. I need to focus on my other stuff for a while and hopefully I'll come back. And who knows? Maybe I'll make it big one day. I mean, 10k views on some of fics feels pretty good as it is. But I want to keep working until I find something that'll really be popular. I know people who've written fics with 100k views or more. I want that for myself. So for now, or maybe for forever, I'll just fade away and quietly work on the stuff I need to. But I'm grateful to every single person who wrote a review, followed, or favorited any of my stories. Or even if you just read it and liked it. I can't tell you guys how many times I would think about just giving up and then I'd see that someone reviewed one of my stories, or someone followed/favorited something. It's kept me going for so long, but I can't take it anymore. My work's crawling along. And for now I just need to drop it.

Bye to all of you. Maybe someday I'll come back. Maybe on a different account so I can write other stories that aren't Fire Emblem one-shots, etc. But I'll always be here reviewing stuff and reading. So I just have to say, thanks for everything. And perhaps for the last time, I'll say it; hope y'all enjoyed~

 _It's been fun…_


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